Even In Epic Failures, There Is A Silver Lining

It’s all about perspective

3 min readAug 27


Black cloud against a black sky, with light behind the cloud showing a silver lining.
Photo by Simone Viani on Unsplash

Last week was a rough week. For the first time in 119 blogs, I did not write. I was too distracted, frustrated, and exhausted to put cohesive thoughts on paper.

Part of my business is Veteran advocacy. I help pull whatever resources are needed for Veterans and their families. Last week it was a Veteran who had been struggling for 5 years with PTS and a TBI. Like many of us with a military history, he was too proud to ask for help, until help was his only option.

There was a family involved. A spouse. Children. There was a boss and his business left short-staffed. The entities established to assist and protect, instead, caused confusion, increased tension, anxiety, and frustration, all because they could not/would not/had no idea how to properly communicate. Worse, their actions put the family back into a potentially dangerous situation.

People in positions of authority, without looking at the situation, veiled threats behind concern, in some attempt to ensure there was compliance. They belittled people, did not give full information, and even went so far as to give incorrect information. They were making decisions with partial information and did not seem to be interested in determining if they had the whole picture. Time was wasted and emotions were challenged on the highest level.

Various people I reached out to for insight all responded with a similar statement, “Those groups are a clown show.”, “I hated working with them.”, “Yes, that is the standard.”, “Wow, I’m surprised they even responded that fast.” It simultaneously broke my heart and infuriated me that this chaos was known and accepted as the norm.

However, there was a little light in all of this. It was the spouse. I watched her stand strong. She took charge of the chaos. She managed her reactions. She set and kept boundaries with her spouse. She calmly held people accountable by asking questions, and snagged a nail into any tiny positive she could find. She took it one teeny step at a time.

It was because of her steadfastness that her husband was able to get the care he desperately needed. It was her consistency that led to an open investigation to determine what caused the failures…




Hi! I am a Veteran, Mom, nurse, writer, educator, blogger, and podcaster. Here to share issues impacting military transition. (Which impacts civilians too.)